Living In Togo
Adanna was lost. She could not find anything. Everything was gone, no black, no white, no colors, just gone. She sat up and put her hands on the dirt ground. She knew she was in a street, somewhere. She could feel the unpaved road underneath her hands. If she were anywhere else it would be out of the country, or on a roof. She knew it wasn't a roof because if it was metal it would burn her skin, and she knew she didn't leave Togo because she knew what is was like to be out of the country. It felt like home. The smell, the roosters crowing, but not the sight. Her eyes were open, she could feel the red torrid sun burning through them. She didn't understand. She put her hands up to her face, trying to see her fingers. But, there was nothing.
Adanna felt pressure against her skull, and when she touched it she felt a warm, moist fluid, blood, seaping out. She tried standing up in the street, but her legs broke under her. She screamed. She sobbed as she touched her leg. The bone underneath her knee was covered in blood and dirt. The sharp egdes cut her fingers. Someone came and grabbed her arm.
"Its okay," she recognized the voice and quickly covered her face, "let me help you."
Adanna started crying. She forgot about him, the one person that promised to always help her.
"Its okay, put your arm around my shoulder."
Adanna couldn't tear her hands away from her face. She didn't want him to know it was her. Just then she remembered, her scarf. She turned her face from him and reached for the scarf at her waist, untied it, and wrapped it around her face.
"Lets go, I'll get dzo." She felt a sensation of protection when he lifted her off the ground, the pressure that was against her broken legs dissapeared. She leaned against his chest remembering everything before she was taken to France.
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Adanna
October 15th 2003
Dayo grabbed my hand. His skin was warm. His eyes looked as if they were searching for something in the ocean. He told me his dreams. He wanted to stay on the beach forever. He wanted to hug me until his arms became apart of me. He wanted our lips to kiss until they got raw and there was no more lipstick between us. He wanted to hold hands until they became tangled forever.
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That was the night they promised themselves to each other. There were no secrets between them. They knew everything about each other. She was having a hard time figuring out why he didn't know it was her, yet she was greatful. She let that thought leave her head, and she smiled. Her smile was accompanied by tears.
"Stop crying, I'll get you help."
Adanna let out a chuckle. She laughed because he didn't know she didn't care about the pain in her legs. But then she regretted it.
Dayo stopped. "What's your name?"
She did not say another thing. She was not ready to tell Dayo everything that happened. She couldn't even think about what she would say to him. How she was picked up on the street one night when she was coming home. How it had been three years since she saw him. How many men they forced her upon. How many places she had gone. How she cried every time. How she never forgot about him.
While they were walking people stared. It was not common to see a white woman hurt. Kids yelled Yobo at them shocked that there was a white girl. They ran up to them trying to see what was wrong. Yobo yobo yobo, they chanted.
Mopeds sped past them. Dodging the children who ran towards the couple. Each driver looked confused because of all of the comotion. But, they kept on driving.
When they got to CHU Tokoin Hospital he walked her into the room, there were beds everywhere. Each with different blankets covering the hard thin blue mattresses. Almost all of the beds had people curled up onto them. Some people cried, some were telling stories, some where sleeping, dreaming. The wall was a pale green color with windows lined up, so linearly. White shades were pulled back shining light on patients who covered their eyes from the brightness. Of course, Adanna couldn't see any of this.
Dayo stayed with her until the nurses pulled him away, and told him what their best idea of what happened to her was. He explained to her that she was beaten and a large part of her skull had been broken. She couldn't walk because she was starving and her muscles were deteriorating. They could not hold her up. She had such bad head trauma that all of the connections between her eyes and brain had been destroyed.
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Dayo
May 19th 2007
I can't believe it's Adonna. I wonder what happened. She doesn't look like she has love anymore. She looks empty. She still is so beautiful. Where is she going to go? Maybe she could come back with me. I would love that. Oh no, why am I crying? I am so happy. I will take care of her forever. Why didn't she come back that night? Maybe she doesn't want to come back with me. Well I guess we will see when she wakes up.
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Dayo brought her food from a Lebenese restaurant.
Adanna refused to eat the food. She remembered that French men didn't like big girls. Dayo begged her, telling her that he wanted her healthy more than skinny. She would not eat no matter what.
They sat in silence. Adanna was getting fidgety. She was having a hard time believing that she was free. She knew that they left her because of the new laws, but it had been her life for three years. She had been here with the main guy looking for new blood when they heard that the law had been passed. He got scared and left town the next day. That was when Adanna decided to get away. He caught her leaving the hotel and beat her, then left her in the street, scared that someone had seen him. The next day, Dayo found her.
Adanna opened her mouth and Dayo interrupted her, "Why didn't you come back that night?" She started crying.
"Im sorry. Im so sorry.Please no. Please. Im sorry. So sorry." She sobbed. Dayo grabbed her, comforting her.
She couldn't say anything else. She didn't eat. She slept and cried, and every moment of it, Dayo was there. Telling her about her family, their friends, his new life.
One day Adanna got annoyed with him. He would not stop talking about her little brother, who was three when she was taken. "Please stop." She murmured.
Dayo didn't hear her. He just kept talking. "Please stop." Dayo kept rambling.
"Stop!" She yelled.
Dayo got extremely quiet. His eyes got big. He had never heard Adanna so angry before.
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Dayo
May 25th 2007
This is not the same girl that I loved such a long time ago. I do not know her. The woman I loved would never stop talking to me. I just can’t. I don’t know her anymore.
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Dayo stood up and walked away.
Adanna wept on her blanket, “I’m sorry Dayo.” She did not know that he got up. “Please just talk to me. Tell me about my brother.Tell me about your new life. Tell me about how great things are, even though I’m gone.”
Dayo did not respond. She begged him for hours to open his mouth and talk. She started screaming at him, “Speak! Help! Please! Help! Help! Speak! Please!”
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Adanna
May 25 2007
Please stay. Ive been alone so long. He's not responding. He's not responding. Why? Why? Why?! No Dayo stay. I need him. Hold me. Talk Dayo. Talk. Talk. Respond to me! Dayo! Respond!
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Dayo
May 25 2007
Later
I just left her. How could I be so cruel? I just walked out. She might need me. Who will be there for her? I have to go back. She was so mean though. I don’t ever remember Adanna being like that. It doesn’t matter. I’m going back, I have to. But, I can't.
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Dayo stood where he was for a while. He couldn't stop debating whether or not he should go back. He fought with himself for hours. He would walk to the hospital and stop halfway, turn around and walk back. He did this at least seven times, each time getting closer to the hospital, until he found himself at the door, he reached for the door, swung it open, and heard Adanna scream.
He walked inside. He saw Adanna crying and screamimg as the nurses tried to calm her down. He couldn't understand most of what she was saying because she was so perturbed. He did hear her call his name. He stood in the isle of beds for half an hour, waiting for her to calm down.
Adanna kept on crying, but the yelling came to a lul. She mumbled that she loved him over and over, and in that moment Dayo saw her, perfect tanned skin, wavy auburn hair that grew down her back, reaching all the way down to the line that stopped the dress and exposed her skin. He saw Adanna, not a sex slave, it was her again. She didn't look like there was any hate inside of her. He picked her up and walked out of CHU Tokoin Hospital. She would always be with him.
Adanna felt pressure against her skull, and when she touched it she felt a warm, moist fluid, blood, seaping out. She tried standing up in the street, but her legs broke under her. She screamed. She sobbed as she touched her leg. The bone underneath her knee was covered in blood and dirt. The sharp egdes cut her fingers. Someone came and grabbed her arm.
"Its okay," she recognized the voice and quickly covered her face, "let me help you."
Adanna started crying. She forgot about him, the one person that promised to always help her.
"Its okay, put your arm around my shoulder."
Adanna couldn't tear her hands away from her face. She didn't want him to know it was her. Just then she remembered, her scarf. She turned her face from him and reached for the scarf at her waist, untied it, and wrapped it around her face.
"Lets go, I'll get dzo." She felt a sensation of protection when he lifted her off the ground, the pressure that was against her broken legs dissapeared. She leaned against his chest remembering everything before she was taken to France.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Adanna
October 15th 2003
Dayo grabbed my hand. His skin was warm. His eyes looked as if they were searching for something in the ocean. He told me his dreams. He wanted to stay on the beach forever. He wanted to hug me until his arms became apart of me. He wanted our lips to kiss until they got raw and there was no more lipstick between us. He wanted to hold hands until they became tangled forever.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That was the night they promised themselves to each other. There were no secrets between them. They knew everything about each other. She was having a hard time figuring out why he didn't know it was her, yet she was greatful. She let that thought leave her head, and she smiled. Her smile was accompanied by tears.
"Stop crying, I'll get you help."
Adanna let out a chuckle. She laughed because he didn't know she didn't care about the pain in her legs. But then she regretted it.
Dayo stopped. "What's your name?"
She did not say another thing. She was not ready to tell Dayo everything that happened. She couldn't even think about what she would say to him. How she was picked up on the street one night when she was coming home. How it had been three years since she saw him. How many men they forced her upon. How many places she had gone. How she cried every time. How she never forgot about him.
While they were walking people stared. It was not common to see a white woman hurt. Kids yelled Yobo at them shocked that there was a white girl. They ran up to them trying to see what was wrong. Yobo yobo yobo, they chanted.
Mopeds sped past them. Dodging the children who ran towards the couple. Each driver looked confused because of all of the comotion. But, they kept on driving.
When they got to CHU Tokoin Hospital he walked her into the room, there were beds everywhere. Each with different blankets covering the hard thin blue mattresses. Almost all of the beds had people curled up onto them. Some people cried, some were telling stories, some where sleeping, dreaming. The wall was a pale green color with windows lined up, so linearly. White shades were pulled back shining light on patients who covered their eyes from the brightness. Of course, Adanna couldn't see any of this.
Dayo stayed with her until the nurses pulled him away, and told him what their best idea of what happened to her was. He explained to her that she was beaten and a large part of her skull had been broken. She couldn't walk because she was starving and her muscles were deteriorating. They could not hold her up. She had such bad head trauma that all of the connections between her eyes and brain had been destroyed.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dayo
May 19th 2007
I can't believe it's Adonna. I wonder what happened. She doesn't look like she has love anymore. She looks empty. She still is so beautiful. Where is she going to go? Maybe she could come back with me. I would love that. Oh no, why am I crying? I am so happy. I will take care of her forever. Why didn't she come back that night? Maybe she doesn't want to come back with me. Well I guess we will see when she wakes up.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dayo brought her food from a Lebenese restaurant.
Adanna refused to eat the food. She remembered that French men didn't like big girls. Dayo begged her, telling her that he wanted her healthy more than skinny. She would not eat no matter what.
They sat in silence. Adanna was getting fidgety. She was having a hard time believing that she was free. She knew that they left her because of the new laws, but it had been her life for three years. She had been here with the main guy looking for new blood when they heard that the law had been passed. He got scared and left town the next day. That was when Adanna decided to get away. He caught her leaving the hotel and beat her, then left her in the street, scared that someone had seen him. The next day, Dayo found her.
Adanna opened her mouth and Dayo interrupted her, "Why didn't you come back that night?" She started crying.
"Im sorry. Im so sorry.Please no. Please. Im sorry. So sorry." She sobbed. Dayo grabbed her, comforting her.
She couldn't say anything else. She didn't eat. She slept and cried, and every moment of it, Dayo was there. Telling her about her family, their friends, his new life.
One day Adanna got annoyed with him. He would not stop talking about her little brother, who was three when she was taken. "Please stop." She murmured.
Dayo didn't hear her. He just kept talking. "Please stop." Dayo kept rambling.
"Stop!" She yelled.
Dayo got extremely quiet. His eyes got big. He had never heard Adanna so angry before.
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Dayo
May 25th 2007
This is not the same girl that I loved such a long time ago. I do not know her. The woman I loved would never stop talking to me. I just can’t. I don’t know her anymore.
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Dayo stood up and walked away.
Adanna wept on her blanket, “I’m sorry Dayo.” She did not know that he got up. “Please just talk to me. Tell me about my brother.Tell me about your new life. Tell me about how great things are, even though I’m gone.”
Dayo did not respond. She begged him for hours to open his mouth and talk. She started screaming at him, “Speak! Help! Please! Help! Help! Speak! Please!”
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Adanna
May 25 2007
Please stay. Ive been alone so long. He's not responding. He's not responding. Why? Why? Why?! No Dayo stay. I need him. Hold me. Talk Dayo. Talk. Talk. Respond to me! Dayo! Respond!
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Dayo
May 25 2007
Later
I just left her. How could I be so cruel? I just walked out. She might need me. Who will be there for her? I have to go back. She was so mean though. I don’t ever remember Adanna being like that. It doesn’t matter. I’m going back, I have to. But, I can't.
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Dayo stood where he was for a while. He couldn't stop debating whether or not he should go back. He fought with himself for hours. He would walk to the hospital and stop halfway, turn around and walk back. He did this at least seven times, each time getting closer to the hospital, until he found himself at the door, he reached for the door, swung it open, and heard Adanna scream.
He walked inside. He saw Adanna crying and screamimg as the nurses tried to calm her down. He couldn't understand most of what she was saying because she was so perturbed. He did hear her call his name. He stood in the isle of beds for half an hour, waiting for her to calm down.
Adanna kept on crying, but the yelling came to a lul. She mumbled that she loved him over and over, and in that moment Dayo saw her, perfect tanned skin, wavy auburn hair that grew down her back, reaching all the way down to the line that stopped the dress and exposed her skin. He saw Adanna, not a sex slave, it was her again. She didn't look like there was any hate inside of her. He picked her up and walked out of CHU Tokoin Hospital. She would always be with him.